Natural disasters have occupied U.S. and world news throughout 2004: winter storms, fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, volcanoes and now massive tsunamis, which caused over 100,000 deaths in Southeast Asia. When adults hear about such events it is common to experience strong feelings of shock, sadness, grief, sympathy and helplessness. Children can have the same feelings, but they don’t have the same abilities adults have to cope with their feelings and their fears.
To help children deal with news of terrible disasters and the emotions that result, follow these four basic steps: 1) Address children’s fears by giving reassurance and comfort. 2) Give facts to children that are appropriate for their age and development. 3) Share your feelings honestly and tell children it is normal to feel sad or concerned. 4) Provide children a way to take positive action.
The fourth step is very important for adults as well as children. The feeling of helplessness we experience when we witness grief and suffering can be banished when we act with love. Taking positive action teaches children to respond to difficult circumstances with compassion. Families can work together to contribute money or supplies to relief organizations that help survivors of disasters. Research those who provide services and include children when making a decision about where to contribute. Writing letters to victims or volunteers is a good way for children to express feelings of sympathy and support.
Taking positive action doesn’t have to be directly related to the victims of the disaster. It can also mean saying a prayer for others or being a helper at home or in your neighborhood. We want to show children how to open their hearts and do something loving when sadness and helplessness feel overwhelming.
Reading together about people and organizations that provide aid during disasters can be reassuring and comforting for children. Knowing there are so many people willing to help when it is needed contributes to a hopeful and positive outlook in addition to giving children good role models. I highly recommend the Federal Emergency Management Agency website designed for children, www.fema.gov/kids as a resource for families and teachers to learn about disasters, those who help, and how best to prepare or respond to disasters.
Parents can decrease their children’s anxiety by limiting exposure to graphic details of disaster news and the lives lost. While parents can’t always control what children see when they are away, home should be a secure and peaceful place for the entire family. Stress and fear is also greatly reduced when children are in the presence of loving adults they feel secure with; families should be together during times of stress whenever possible. A parent’s loving presence is the most powerful and effective tool there is to give children comfort, security and peace of mind.
